in a horrible mood now.i know it's not his fault;now they all know about us.and it isn't the right time.sucks.and he wasn't even at the dinner today,and it was damn awkward when his name was called out for the gift and no one was going to collect for him.and there were people looking at me,as if expecting me to offer to pass the gift to him.i guess within close friends it's okai to let them know,but so many people?uncalled for,really.

suddenly i'm wondering where this relationship went wrong.in other words,second thoughts.not that i don't love him anymore,just that sometimes,it feels wrong to be together.we couldn't even spend our first month together,and i'm feeling like shit.must be hormones and yes i'm blaming myself for this because i get frizzled up over the smallest issues and i'll probably get dumped sooner or later because i'm oversensitive and repetitive.there aren't any 'buts'in this paragraph because i know i'm being oversensitive about this issue and there's no one else to blame.our relationship defies human laws.how can the smart date the stupid,the nice date the evil,the adorable date the ugly,the rational date the oversensitive bitch i am?i guess i'll never understand why we got together.he doesn't have a reason to like me,he has no reason to like me,so why are we even together?i was never first on his list and i don't doubt his love (i think);i just need to know why.Of all people,why me?

so many questions left unanswered.